Tuesday, August 24, 2010

because of you are my bestfriend, you could never be mine..





A friend is someone who cares about you. The one that you can count on in times of troubles, pains, and sufferings that occur in your life. The one that you can trust with all the secrets of your life. A friend is someone who always finds time to listen to all the stories you tell and the one that is always concerned in everything that you do. These traits I found in you, that's why I really trusted you, and for all of these, I know nothing to repay you but to simply be your friend. And we share the laughter for years admitting to each other that we enjoy being with one another.


But lately little changes are slowly taking place, I just woke up one morning that my feelings for you have changed. To describe it I don't know of a way, its just that I have this weird feeling that I always want to see your cute face, to hear your sweet voice. And when it's already my chance to see you, my knees began trembling, my heart pounding faster than ever, my mind began to mix up. "What shall I do? Will I put face powder on my face? What? What now?" Asking myself as if I was crazy. Then you suddenly appear right in front of me smiling. "Oh my! What shall I say?" I said to myself. And nevertheless I was speechless. No words to say, no stories to tell, nothing. But I managed to keep my feelings hidden.


One day, I saw you wearing a blue cold face. I asked, "What's Wrong?" while cheering you with all my might, but inside I too was dying. You told me it's because of a girl you like most but despite the things you have done for her, she just can't learn how to love you. My tears started to stream down my cheeks. You thought I understand you and that's what causes me to cry. "No, you don't understand," I wanted this to tell you, "I was crying because like you, I really felt something special for someone and that's you, but whatever I do, you just can't feel that I love you too! And now you're telling me you're in love with somebody! What about me? What about my feelings for you?" These words I don't have the guts to tell, so I just chose to be quiet and it's all a secret for me to keep.


I spent that night crying endlessly. I can feel that boundless woe blanketing my lonely soul. "What shall I do now?" Will I let you know about my feelings for you?" These question rolled out of my mind. But after that, I remembered that I valued our friendship too much that I can't stand to loose it just because of this stupid feeling they called LOVE.



That was my first decision, but I realized that I couldn't be your friend without thinking about my feelings for you. "What will happen to me now? Now that I can't hide my feelings anymore?.Now I know what to do…" I sadly whispered to myself. I know it will take a long time for me to do this but I know it's a must. Many hours passed and I spent it all by crying, for I promised to myself that, that will be the last time that I will cry just because of you. However I was wrong in this.


The next day I met you, I know I have practiced every word that I shall tell you. But I just stop myself from crying the moment I saw you drawing near. But I wipe it all dry for I have a very important message for you. But before I have the chance to tell you these words, you greeted me with a cheerful smile and a warm "Hi!" Ignoring this I told you, "Farewell,". You asked me "Why?" Once again my tears began to fall because of the deep pain that I'm hiding inside but I know I must continue.


"Farewell my friend. For I am not worthy to be your friend. For a long time, I have betrayed our friendship." I said. "Betrayed?" I can't remember any time that you betrayed our friendship!" You said. But in your face I can see that you're so confused. I must finish I know for ‘this is the only way to forget your love," this is my heart instructing me for it too was hurt. I took a deep breath and said, "No, you don't understand. I have betrayed it. I have promised that we will be friends forever but suddenly I felt that you already had a special place in my heart. I'm sorry.

And now I'm leaving with all our happy and sad memories. But before I go, I want you to know that I LoVe YoU … My DeAr FrIeNd."

After this, I run with all my might even though I heard you shout, "Wait!" I can't stand any single moment that I can hear your sweet and gentle voice because underneath that is the fact that you could never be mine…



p/s:  “People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to.”

6 comments:

jane said...

ni cter kau ke?
sedih;(

jane said...

kau msh syg dia?
bkn mudah, tp hope kau kuat ..

if rs nk share apa2 ngn aku, ym aku k

areque_93@yahoo.com

tc

Ms. Ann said...

well... seems like i understand your feeling.. You and him like TTm (Teman tapi mesra)

sakitnya merasakan mencintai teman sendiri dan disaat itu teman kita seakan-akan buat2 tidak mengerti perasaan kita..

nak share dengan saya? add me too gurlikeme86@yahoo.com

FarhanaDr said...

Huh.. Hanya Tuhan yang tahu rasa yang tidak dilafazkan itu bagaimana.. Aku tak lafazkan.. And it goes.. Macam tu jek.. Huhu..

meo188 said...

tersentuhlah...

meo penah jadi lelaki yg sebut.. "awak terlambat, slma nie awk ckp kite cume kawan je. sy tak pasti... minta maaf...sy dh ada dh..."

nursarah said...

thanks everyone!